How about at least a North American conspiracy? It has to have started somewhere and now the phrase itself is becoming part of our lexicon.
Or sports, everyone knows how rabid sports fans are, get on with the game no matter how much athletes cheat? Sure. We all see that, Pete Rose is great. Roger Clemens is great. Tom Brady didn't know his balls were deflated. Lance Armstrong was too great to be using drugs. And now Peyton Manning had strength inducing drugs delivered to his door and said they were for his wife!
One would suggest that sports fans are already as dumb as they can get!
But TV. There's another totally black horse, galloping away with your brain to Oblivion even though it is glowing bright and friendly right there in your own living room.
You click each night to watch your favorite programs and it is overwhelmingly obvious that someone, somewhere out in TV programming land is using the medium, to slowly and sneakily make sure you have nothing important to think about. Today's TV is a no threat, comfortable place to be. With an occasional jab to let you know who the bad guys are, Putin, the Chinese, Kim Jong Un, Deux and Trois, but it is okay, the powers that be are handling it. Keeping us safe. We'll build up our military and stop these guys so just tune in and see what Big Bang Theory is doing tonight.
Well, here's a TV line-up to think about, if you have any independent brain cells left ....
And these are Prime Time viewing!
The Bachelor - a bevy of beauties compete for a really dumb but good looking guy.
SuperGirl - a flying Pipi Longstockings with a red cape! Or was it blue?
Schitt's Creek - a whole program based on an idiot phrase. Only in Canader you say?
Real Housewives of _ _ _ - doesn't matter where. Slutty women, all tits and tattoos with those hard-edged bar voices.
Lost Girl - A succubus feeds on the sexual energy of Mortals. Without Tiny Fey.
|implants at their best|
.... are you beginning to get it? Don't stop now ....
Ted - tough guy Mark Wahlberg and his talking Teddy Bear who can pee in a urinal. Talk about issues.
Family Feud - with inane people and the whitest teeth you ever saw!
Duck Dynasty - Phil Robertson endorsed Cruz or Hillary? Of course it was The Donald.
Alvin & the Chipmunks meet Frankenstein - No, Virginia, there isn't.
Mike and Molly - Really fat people collide on their rush to the cookie jar.
The Walking Dead - old skin and broken bones with a hunger for brains.
..... hey, don't blame me for any of this .....
Chicago Fire - Firemen and policemen fight anytime they meet and you get hosed.
Buying the View - where Daddy's inheritence money is spent by imbecile son and goofy wife.
House Hunters International - Let's go live in Iraq with our kids and dogs, Honey!
Shark Tank - Where poor people with good ideas get them stolen by arrogant rich bullies.
Just for Laughs, Gags - Totally poor actors and totally poor extras, all doing stupid stunts for totally bereft viewers.
Moonshiners - Hooch fun in the backwoods, "You got a purty mouth, boy."
Married at First Sight - Newlyweds find out they don't like each other. Based on a Danish series titled Gift Ved Første Blik. Maybe they shoulda kept the title.
Some others you don't want to miss after having your porridge and learning to tie your shoelaces -
When Ghosts Attack; Boo hoo - True Life; I had my cousin's baby - Super Bowl's greatest all star commercials, more Clydesdale exploitation - Ice Road Truckers; ear muff guys who just don't get winter driving - Billy the Exterminator; meets pythons in your attic - Hill-billy Hand Fishin'; trying to coax catfish outa their holes - Dirty Jobs; we just had to put the entire plot-line in here - Mike is in Michigan where he gets filthy working at a bone black plant; then he meets twin sisters who are fans of the show to discuss the top five dirtiest jobs he has ever done. O... M... G! Tune in to see if the girls bathe Mike?
We can't let this go without an honorable Mention tribute to inanity and those who started the TV dumb decline - Any Adam Sandler movie, Friends, Dog and Beth, Sex and the City, Designing Women, and these are all from Prime Time!
Still believe you've graduated to adulthood?
And you have no one to blame but yourself, you look back now and say how you loved Gilligan and the Skipper, grew up with Opie, Left it to Beaver and now it's almost time to cash in your Chips. You're at fault yourself for the dumbing down of the continent for allowing it to happen so subtly, and all the time you were watching! So now the powers that be have had it their way for too long.
Take-over-the-World conspirators say you need to control a population for three generations to subjugate them completely. It is almost time people and you pnly have about a half generation to go.
Just look at the new TV series now in preproduction; Women Crying. They sob and wail throughout each episode while Cry Detectives rush through their former lives trying to find out why. [spoiler alert - they never do.]
Quit thinking and just go along with it, it is as painless as 50s television. Think of Uncle Miltie, Lucy and Ed Sullivan. No worries, we know what's best for you. Have some more porridge, we put extra 'vitamins' in it.
(or Nigela if that's your want ....)